


wallflowers

by kuresoto



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben and Rey are oblivious to each other and dumb af despite having PhDs, Can this even be classified as student/teacher when they're not in each other's fields?, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, It's wholesome af, Pining, soft reylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 12:11:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuresoto/pseuds/kuresoto
Summary: Ben Solo, Professor of Physics, was definitelynotin love with his uncle's goddaughter, Rey. Nope, no way. So what if he crashed on her couch so often that his own bed at home felt foreign? Or that they messaged multiple times a day, with Rey constantly reminding him not to kill the assholes in his department? Or that he had to remind Rey to eat, or physically drag her out of her apartment, when it neared deadlines for her thesis.They were each other's best friend, having met over a decade ago. There was no way he was going to jeopardize his friendship with her for amaybecrush, despite the knowing glances and passing comments from Finn and Rose. And if Rey ended up dating and later marrying someone else, then so be it. Ben would have to deal with it, since Rey's success and happiness was paramount to him.It was a shame that Ben was too oblivious to recognise Rey's feelings.But then again, Rey was just as oblivious in regards to her own feelings for him.





	wallflowers

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to flypaper_brain for her endless beta-ing. you carry me each time i have a project due /sobs

_Nothing but the sound of their breathing filled Rey’s apartment._

_The sun was setting, knives of soft light and illuminated dust particles danced around them. The sound of a door slamming was heard somewhere outside, probably down the hallway, and loud honks from cars stuck in traffic pierced the silence between them. Despite all this, it did nothing to distract Ben from Rey, who stood before him, her lips slightly parted in apprehension._

_“So...how should we do this?” Ben asked, voice soft as if not to disturb the bubble they were in._

_“I-I don’t know. Do we just--” Rey trailed off and placed her hands on his shoulders, awkwardly tilting her head to the side and puckering her lips. “Is...is this how you do it?”_

_She looked at him with comically wide eyes that would have made him burst into laughter if his heart didn’t feel like it was going to give out at any moment. Even though she had literally taken the situation into her hands, he could feel her trembling._

_Ben licked his lips and caught Rey staring at them before mimicking his action, the pink of her tongue darting out to moisten her lips before inhaling sharply._

_“Why are we taking so long to do this?” she whispered. “We’re grown-ass adults, Ben. It shouldn’t be that hard.”_

_“Yeah, but you’ve never done this before.” God, they were so close that Ben could smell her perfume. His skin pimpled at her scent, his senses becoming hypnotised. He slowly dipped his head towards her, eyelids half closed but still open and watching her. “And neither have I.”_

_He felt her breath on his lips just as his eyes slipped shut. The last thing he saw was the heady look in her eyes, and he knew his own eyes reflected the same expression._

_God, they were so stupid._

-

One step. That was how far he was. Well, not _one_ , but a few more steps and he would have arrived at his lecture room with enough time to make himself comfortable; leaning against his desk at the front of the classroom, ready to intimidate his students as they trickled in.

With his free hand, Professor Ben Solo groped his trouser pockets--the side _and_ back pockets--before letting out a long, dejected sigh. His USB drive with his lecture slides was missing. For a split second, Ben broke out into a cold sweat. Where had he put it? He wracked through his mind, mentally retracing his steps to the last place he could remember working on them.

Normally, he would have been done with it ages ago. He wasn’t one to do a sloppy night-before job on his slides, but he had spent the past week or so working on a conference presentation that Professor Snoke had belatedly informed him that he would be attending...only to have it cancelled at the last minute. Ben could swear the old geezer had done it on purpose; but that would result in Ben’s thoughts going down a dark path that Rey continuously said wasn’t worth his time. _Rey_ ….

The USB drive was with Rey. His laptop had been glitching recently so he’d borrowed Rey’s the night before to work on his slides.

Ben wanted to slap his forehead, but didn’t because he was above that. Still, it was frustrating knowing that he was going to have to rush to Rey’s apartment to get his USB back; thank god she still lived on campus. Arms full of papers to return back to his students, he momentarily entertained the idea of leaving them on his desk only to scoff; no way in hell did he trust them to not go through his shit.

Not wanting to waste another moment, Ben took off in the direction of Rey’s apartment. Thanks to his long legs, he got there in no time.

Rey lived in student housing on campus, something that was extremely useful for Ben when he was too tired to get the train back home after a long day of teaching and research. It was good that they’d known each other for so long already, what with Rey being a family friend and all, or frequently rocking up to her place, mostly unannounced, would have spurred gossip. Not that he was the type of person people gossiped about...one look from Ben and anyone would regret including him in their idle chit-chat.

Just as he was about to fish her key from his pocket, the stack of papers started to slip from his arms and he quickly grabbed onto the doorknob to steady himself. It twisted with no resistance and the door creaked open.

“For fuck’s sake Rey,” he muttered under his breath before he slipped inside. He hated it when she left her door unlocked like that. Sure, it saved him the effort to get his keys out but it wasn’t worth it. And sure, the building had security doors so random people couldn’t wander inside, but _still_.

He opened his mouth, ready to call out to Rey when he froze mid step. She sat at the opposite end of her small apartment, head resting on the papers spread all over her circular dining table, fast asleep. Not far from her was her laptop with his USB still in its port, but he didn’t care about that.

Ben’s eyes softened as he lowered his students’ papers onto the couch before silently walking over to her. He should have stayed at work and finished his slides in his office, not gone to Rey’s to use her laptop, which he belatedly realised wasn’t a good idea. She had work of her own to do and deadlines that needed to be met. When was her draft due again?

He picked up her phone and unlocked it with ease. The passcode was his birthday after all, just like how his phone’s passcode was _her_ birthday. Some people would make a wise-ass comment about it if they ever found out, but thank fuck no one had yet. Besides, Rey thought it was an ingenious idea when he jokingly suggested it all those years ago, and they had rolled with it ever since. It didn’t mean anything, or so he kept telling himself.

He went through her calendar and let out a sound of relief when he saw that her draft wasn’t due for another few weeks, as well as noticing that she didn’t have any classes or labs to teach today. He thought briefly about waking her up, or carrying her to her bed, but once she was awake, he knew she wouldn’t go back to sleep, no matter how much she needed it. Her neck was going to hurt in few hours.

The clock on the wall ticked away, the second hand unbearably loud and a constant reminder that he had a lecture to teach.

Ben grabbed the throw that was crumpled up on the couch and draped it over her sleeping form. He pulled his USB from the laptop and was about to leave when Rey moved in her sleep, changing the cheek she slept on so she now faced him.

Against his better judgement, he brushed aside some hair that had fallen over her face, only to stutter when the frown on her face deepened. Her brows furrowed but she remained asleep.

He couldn’t stick around any longer so without making a sound, he picked up his papers and slipped out of her apartment.

He hadn’t even closed her door completely when he sensed someone behind him. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Finn, Rey’s friend and fellow PhD student. Finn’s eyes narrowed at the sight of Ben Solo sneaking out of Rey’s apartment and raised a single brow.

“I left my USB,” Ben said lamely.

“Don’t you have a lecture in,” Finn paused and checked his watch. “Five minutes?”

“Don’t wake her.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

There was a sound of a door opening behind him and Ben wondered what he did to deserve the continuous interruptions.

“Finn, what are you doing--Oh! Ben.”

Ben looked behind him to see Rose, another PhD student who was a friend of Rey’s. “Rose,” he said with a nod.

The smaller girl looked back and forth between the two men before rolling her eyes. “Finn, come on. Let Ben get to his class. We can annoy him later.”

“Please don’t,” Ben muttered under his breath, hoping the universe would take mercy on his soul and he wouldn’t have to deal with Rey’s friends for a few days.

It wasn’t that that they hated each other. No, if anything, Ben found their presence tolerable, which was more than he could say about the assholes in his own department. The only problem was that anyone with a few brain cells and who was more than just an acquaintance to the pair of them could see how in love Ben was with Rey.

And that Rey was completely oblivious to it.

Which pained everyone, but not as much as it did Ben.

-

He was sixteen and she was ten when they first met. He remembered that night well. He was studying for exams and didn’t even notice how worried his parents had been all evening until he came down to the kitchen for a drink. It was almost midnight and he was surprised to see the lights still on. Huddled around the kitchen island were his parents and Uncle Luke. A hushed silence fell over them when Ben appeared at the doorway, the three staring at him until he noticed a small someone standing behind Luke. A hoodie obscured their face.

“Um, what’s going on?” Ben had asked, feeling awkward in his own home.

“Ben, you remember Rey? Luke’s god-daughter? Her parents--”

He can’t remember what his mother said after that; he was too focused on the small girl. He vaguely remembered her as the daughter of some professor at Luke’s workplace who would come to their barbeques in the Summer. They hadn’t spoken before, since she was just a kid and it wasn’t cool to be seen hanging around with kids younger than him.

“--She’s going to live with Luke now. I know how grumpy you can get sometimes but please be nice to her, Ben.”

He rounded the island and came to a stop in front of her. She was clinging to the back of Luke’s coat; her eyes were red and puffy and her lips were cracked and dry.

“Hey, you want some juice?”

Leia let out an exasperated sound at his tone but Rey nodded. She still kept a firm hold on Luke’s coat but relaxed slightly when Ben handed her the glass. Her eyes were still downcast as she sipped at her juice while the adults continued to discuss the situation.

It turned out that Rey’s parents had been killed in a car crash while away at an academic conference. He’d wanted nothing more than to immediately retreat to the safety of his room after hearing all of this, but he couldn’t stand the thought of this traumatized kid being all alone with a bunch of strangers; he may be an emotionally stunted sixteen year old boy, but he knew Rey didn’t need to be here for this.  

Interrupting his uncle, he’d reached out to Rey with his free hand and asked if she’d like to lie down on the couch in the living room and watch a video while the adults talked; she’d barely hesitated before nodding and taking his hand.  He’d turned on their ancient copy of “Beauty and the Beast” and she’d fallen asleep before the first song.

That night sort of set the tone for their early relationship.  Ben was grumpy and absolute shit at socializing and he had no idea what he was supposed to do with a ten year old kid who’d just lost her parents.  All he could think to do was offer to watch movies and play videogames with her when he didn’t have to study, but Rey didn’t seem to mind.  Evidently, him just being there and not treating her like someone who was going to break at any moment was exactly what she needed. And though he was too immature to realize it at the time (and he wouldn’t have admitted it if he did), she did the same for him. And they were still doing it, nearly two decades later.

-

“I’m _so_ sorry again, Ben,” Snoke said, voice dripping with fake sincerity as he placed his hands on Ben’s shoulders.

Ben forced himself to remain still even though every fibre of his being wanted to rip his body from his boss’ hold. “It’s fine,” he bit out, intently glaring at his laptop that had just come back from being repaired. “If anything, it’s probably good that the conference got cancelled. I’d hate to burden Professor Hux with extra work.” He eyes flicked over to the other person occupying the small office space.

“Oh _no_ , it wouldn’t have been a burden. At all.” Snoke’s grip tightened on Ben’s shoulders, like his hold on Ben’s academic life. “Isn’t that right, _Armitage_?”

Armitage Hux gracefully lifted himself from his seat at his desk and approached them. “Of course not.” There was a tight smile on Hux’s face, but Ben could see the sneer that threatened to break out. They hated each other--no, they _loathed_ each other--but both had put too many hours into their academic careers to suddenly change fields in order to avoid working together.

“It’s a shame really,” Hux continued. “Your students would have benefited from a _real_ teacher.”

“Sucks to be your students then,” Ben snapped back.

“Now, now, _children_. Both of you are esteemed professors of the Physics department. Every student taught by either one of you are lucky to have you as their instructor. Remember that.” Ben’s stomach sank when he felt another squeeze to his shoulder.

Snoke had a habit of pitting Ben and Hux against each other, be it their research, how well received their papers were, and even their students’ scores. They alternated each year with which subject and which year they were teaching, and Ben knew for a fact that Snoke was keeping track of it all. It was hard to ignore the disappointed looks Snoke gave him when a bunch of first-year shits failed their prerequisite subjects.

Ben reached into his pocket and gripped his phone. He thumbed the soft bump on the underside of his phone case, which calmed him considerably, knowing that something encouraging was waiting for him. When Snoke and Hux eventually grew bored of the game they were playing and left Ben alone, he pulled out his phone and opened the messages  Rey had sent earlier that day.

**[Remember, you’re better than Snoke and Hux. They ain’t shit]**

“They ain’t shit,” Ben repeated to himself under his breath. “They ain’t shit.”

Ben turned his phone over and glanced at the squishy lump stuck to his phone case. Years ago, Rey had given him a soft, cat shaped accessory to attach to his phone to act like a stress ball. There was a dumb face painted on the cat but it had successfully distracted him for hours on end. It was a bit inconvenient (not to mention slightly embarrassing) to have on his phone, since it got caught in his pocket frequently, but it had saved him many times from having a meltdown in front of his colleagues.

Rey knew all about Ben’s crappy situation in his department, and as well as the stress-kitty, she also sent encouraging messages and regular reminders to not do something that would suspend him; or worse, get him fired. He’d told her numerous times that she didn’t have to do this, but that was Rey.

-

Rey was more family to him than his _actual_ family had ever been in the thirty-two years he had been alive.

She was there for him when his parents got divorced--the _only_ one.

Neither of his parents had been the best at expressing their thoughts or emotions and both of them had probably thought their kid would be fine. At seventeen, they’d assumed he would be  A: too caught up in his ‘teen angst’ to really be affected by their divorce, and B: already expecting it; but they were wrong.  Ben had been surprised and devastated, and Rey was there for him when she didn’t have to be.  She barely knew him, only having been part of the Organa-Skywalker-Solo family for a year, but she was more help during that time than the rest of his family.

Rey never treated him like a child and she genuinely enjoyed spending time with him. He didn’t expect her to hang around when she got older and made proper friends her own age, but she did. Luke, who was a Physics Professor at their local university at the time, wasn’t around much, and it often fell to Ben to care for Rey when his uncle was working.  It was a bit weird to be spending so much time with someone six years younger, but with Rey, he could be himself. There were  no expectations. It felt comfortable, and, well, _nice_.

Ben had moved out after his parents’ split and was living on his own, but he still spent so much time at Luke’s place throughout university that it felt natural to ask him to be his advisor for his honors project and hopefully, for his eventual PhD thesis as well. Sometimes Ben wondered if his prolonged exposure to Luke due to Rey was the reason he pursued his academic career in Physics.

Or maybe it was because Ben clung to the only people that still felt like family.

Which blew up spectacularly when Luke had decided (without consulting anyone) to take a new academic position on the other side of the country just as Ben was starting his PhD.  His uncle had been extremely arrogant in  assuming his only student would follow him.  

Fat-fucking-chance. Luke had decided to pursue a different subsection of Physics and Ben was not about to set aside his years of hard work in his current specialty and blindly follow his uncle into whatever the fuck he had randomly decided to do.  

As bad as it was to unexpectedly lose his uncle/advisor at such a crucial point in his academic career, it was made even worse by the fact that Luke took Rey with him. She was _not_ pleased about her godfather’s decision, and she truly hated leaving Ben; but at seventeen years old, she was still technically a minor and was forced to respect her only parent’s decision.

So he was left all alone, in the first year of doing his PhD _and_ without a supervisor.

Rey may have been miles away, but she still kept in regular contact with him. They would text each other multiple times a day, sending memes and random videos, and sometimes he almost forgot they were on opposite sides of the country.  

Things started to look up when someone graciously stepped in as his supervisor.

As if to prove the  point that he didn’t need Luke’s guidance, he dove head-first into the direction his new supervisor had set.  He was still working in his previous specialty, but his new advisor was far more driven than Luke had ever been and initially, Ben had been ecstatic about the change.

What a mistake that was.

Being part of Mal Snoke’s research team was hell on Earth. It was the most toxic environment he had ever been in, becoming a pawn in whatever weird academic political scheme Snoke was running, but it guaranteed tenure after he finished his thesis so he had to suck it up and go along with it.

He wasn’t proud of some of the things he had done.

It had almost broken him, if he was being honest, and there was one thing that allowed him to keep going.

He told Rey everything.

And she didn’t judge him.

Just like how he didn’t judge her when she finally snapped under Luke’s crazy whatever-life-crisis he was having every other week and came to the realisation that studying the same field as your godfather in order to please him was ridiculous and if she didn’t make a change soon, she knew she’d be trapped forever. Rey dropped out of her physics degree, moved back home, and thought long and hard about which field she truly wanted to pursue. She didn’t want to go anywhere near Hard Sciences ever again.

Most people in Science would mock all branches of Arts, but after looking at a million poorly written papers, Ben couldn’t really criticise Rey for wanting to pursue a degree in Journalism.

And he certainly didn’t judge when she changed her career trajectory and took up Philosophy.

The Social Science department was better than the Physics department. They had to be, since they were all about humanities and such. Rey was much better off there.

It was far too late for Ben to change fields, so he managed as best he could in the uncomfortable environment Snoke seemed to thrive in.

Besides, his life sucked infinitely less with Rey back home and living on campus.

-

Rey stretched her arms high above her head, feeling her neck and back crack as she shook out the tension in her body. She’d hoped for some rest after submitting her draft a few days ago, but she wasn’t that lucky. If anything, her workload actually increased, and the meetings with the supervisory committee had grown more frequent now that she was moving into the later stages of her PhD.

She flopped back in her seat, her body sliding down until her head was angled awkwardly against the back of her chair, and rolled her head to the side. Her eyes fell onto the thrown back blanket on the couch. Ben had fallen asleep on her couch again last night, which meant post-PhD life didn’t get any easier.

Growling, Rey wondered if the stress was even worth getting her doctorate, but immediately squished that doubt before it could take hold. Working with Amilyn Holdo was a breath of fresh air after being suffocated by Luke. It wasn’t that Luke was a bad Professor, it’s just that Rey didn’t share the same passion for Physics that he obviously had, which made her university experience almost unbearable. Dealing with Luke both at home and at school was too much, especially when he’d begun a new research project--that she honestly couldn’t have cared less about--and she knew it would end up consuming all of her time and energy and providing absolutely zero sense of satisfaction. It was a wake-up call of sorts, and was the final push she needed to make a frightening, but necessary, change.

Moving back to her home town and transferring to Social Science was the best thing she had done in a long time. Not only was she doing work that inspired and motivated her, but she had met Finn and Rose, the second and third closest friends she’d ever had.  And she was able to see  Ben, her oldest and closest friend, on an almost daily basis. Finally, she could relax again.

Moving across the country at the age of seventeen had been horrible. She hadn’t known anyone and even though she eventually made friends with people in her year during high school, and then in her course in university, she never considered them to be _real_ friends. She’d never felt the way with them that she felt when she was with Ben.

Rey loved being in familiar surroundings again. She had visited Ben at uni before she moved and was happy to find that nothing much had changed when she came back as a student. Same grass area, same cafeteria, same vending machines that would reject 5c pieces.

Rey smiled, remembering how Ben practically toppled a vending machine over when it ate his money one time. She had cackled at the sight, not fully understanding how stressed he was and that not getting those bright red sweets in the shape of a frog almost broke him.

There was a knock on the door before Finn poked his head in. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he said before opening the door wider to let Rose in. There were only PhD students on her floor, most of whom were in her department and known to her, so she figured there wasn’t much point in locking her front door. Ben absolutely hated it and was always telling her that someone could rob her apartment, but Rey always shrugged it off. If anything, she felt sorry for anyone who tried to rob her. She had fuck all in her apartment and besides, with Ben over so much, it was never a worry. Who in their right mind would rob her place knowing scary Professor Ben Solo could turn up at any moment and snap them in half?

“What are you laughing at?” Rose asked.

“Huh? Oh, sorry. Just imagining Ben catching some poor guy trying to rob my place,” Rey replied with a grin.

Rose made a noise and shot Finn a look.

Rey narrowed her eyes. “What? What was that?”

“Nothing,” Rose said, holding up her hands in defence. “It wasn’t anything. Anyways, it’s past lunch and we know for a fact that you haven’t eaten. Let’s go.”

Rey bit her lip and looked back to her laptop, moving the cursor to reveal her inbox. There was still time before her next class and there were no pressing emails from students today. Phew. “Yes, let’s.”

As the pair moved back through the doorway, Rey grabbed the jacket that was tossed over the arm of the couch on the way out. She inhaled deeply and a languid smile appeared on her face; she should ask Ben what cologne he used. He always left jackets and hoodies at her place and they always smelt _amazing._

Speaking of, they both had late classes to teach today. Rey pulled her phone out and sent Ben a quick text to meet up for dinner, a smile dancing on her face when she slipped her phone into her back pocket.

“What do we feel like?” Rey asked as the trio got into the elevator.

“Oh, noodles. I feel like noodles,” Rose suggested.

“How about that ramen place next to the student centre?”

“Yessss.”

Rey’s pocket vibrated once then twice. Checking her phone, she let out a snort at the message.

“What’s Ben up to?” Finn asked from next to her.

“Other people do message me,” Rey said, throwing a pointed look at Finn.

“Yeah, but the other two people who do are in an elevator with you.”

“Fair point.” Rey showed her screen to the others.

Finn and Rose leaned in to see a image displayed. The angle it was taken from showed Ben’s legs propped up on the desk with a tall, lanky, ginger-haired man in front of him, mouth half open, probably in the middle of shouting something at Ben as Ben flipped him off.

“Thank god we don’t have someone like Hux in our department,” Rose commented. “I think I’d just quit academia if our office was like theirs.”

“It would be interesting if someone from Psychology studied their behavioral patterns and wrote a paper about it. Like, why does put himself through that?” Finn said as they reached street level. “Rey, tell Ben to love himself.”

“Urgh, I know. I’ve spoken to him about it but he’s in too deep. He’s dedicated over ten years to the Physics department and would feel like he wasted them if he just _quit_ ,” Rey explained.

“That’s not the only thing he’s wasting,” Finn muttered under his breath, only to be elbowed in the ribs by Rose.

Before Rey could prod Finn about his remark, a flyer outside the student centre caught her eye. While the other two sat at an empty table outside the ramen shop, Rey lingered to read the advertisement before taking a picture for later reference.

“What was that?” Rose asked as she handed out the menus.

Without looking up from worn menu, Rey replied, “The local children’s home is looking for volunteers for the mini fete they’re hosting to raise money for renovations.”

Finn and Rose immediately looked up from their menus. They knew if Luke hadn’t taken her in after her parents died she would have ended up in the foster care system, which had a number of controversies at the time. Issues like improper background checks on foster parents and staff and lack of consistency and security for the neglected and orphaned children had made the system less than desirable, but in recent years things had greatly improved. The care-home staff, as well as the foster parents, were extensively vetted before being hired and a team of government officials conducted frequent checkups to make sure that each child was being properly cared for in every way, whether they were living with a foster family or staying in a group home.  While the system was not perfect, abuse was almost unheard of now.

The topic was close to Rey’s heart so it really was a no brainer. “I’m going to help out. According to the ad, it’s a classic carnival theme. You guys should volunteer too if you’re free!” Rey’s eyes lit up at the prospect of all three of them volunteering at the carnival. “It’s gonna be fun!”

As they waited for their food to arrive, Rey zoomed in on the picture of the advert on her phone and read out the various activities offered at the carnival. “Apple bobbing, ring toss, skeeball, a kissing booth--”

“You know I always wondered about kissing booths. Don’t people wonder who they’re kissing? What happens if they’re sick at the time?” Rose froze in the middle of breaking her chopsticks, a faraway look appearing in her eyes. “What happens if they have a herpes outbreak at the time? Or if they’ve got mono?” she whispered harshly.

The three of them made a face.

“Urgh, we are _not_ volunteering for the kissing booth. Besides, can you imagine how Ben would react if _Rey_ volunteered for it?” Finn said, jabbing his chopsticks at her.

Rey stopped admiring her steaming bowl of ramen that had just arrived and looked at Finn in confusion. “What? Why would Ben care?” Rose and Finn swung their heads around and gave her the most incredulous pair of looks she had ever seen from them. “What?”

“Okay, this has gone on long enough,” Rose said.

“Rose, don’t. He’ll kill us,” Finn said, putting a hand on Rose’s arm to stop her.

“I can handle him. Besides, he’s going to thank us for this.”

Rey let out a sigh. “Guys, _what_ are you talking about?”

Rose and Finn exchanged another look before Finn’s shoulders sagged in resigned defeat. “Rey, you know we love you, right?” Rey nodded slowly. “Have you ever considered the fact that Ben might like you as more than a friend? And that you might return his feelings?”

A solid beat passed before Rey let out a nervous laugh. “What are you talking about?” She dropped her hands in her lap and rubbed her palms against her jeans.

“Rey, think about it. I don’t think you realise what’s been happening,” Rose said.

“Ben is my friend. He’s my childhood friend.” Did her jeans always feel this nice between her fingers? “Just because we share passwords--”

“You share _passwords_?”

“--and he crashes on my couch more often than not and he reminds me to eat when exam time comes, that doesn’t mean he’s in love with me. We’ve been friends for so long, it’s natural for us to do these things…”

“Rey, Ben isn’t easy to get along with,” Finn stated flatly. “He’s really rather obnoxious.”

“Well, yeah, I know that, but that’s because no one knows him like I do.”

Rose made a circle motion with her chopsticks. “Because you guys are in love with each other, but don’t realise it. Well, actually, Ben knows it and anyone with a pair of eyes knows it, but not you.”

“T-That’s not true,” she said, hoping they didn’t notice her stutter.

They did. “Rey, when was the last time you went on a date?”

“I have no interest in dating.”

“Because you love Ben,” Finn coughed, not even attempting to be subtle any more.

“No, I don’t bother dating because there’s no point! I’m perfectly happy with how things are now!” Rey defended.

“Because you have your ideal partner already! He practically lives at your place! You text him multiple times a day and have some kind of weird psychic ability to know when he’s about to lose his shit at Snoke and Hux! _We_ know so much about Ben Solo through you!” Rose exasperatedly declared.

“That doesn’t prove anything and it certainly doesn’t prove that Ben is in love with me!”

“Rey,” Finn started. His voice was firm and stopped whatever rebuttal she might’ve had. “Do you remember that time you went on a blind date? The one and only time you dated?”

“That time I got matched with Poe? Yeah, what about it?”

“What was wrong with Poe?”

“He was arrogant,” she answered without pausing.

“You think Poe is arrogant but Ben isn’t?”

“Ben is different,” Rey said lamely.

“Okay, moving along. What was Ben like when you told him you went on a blind date?”

“He…” Rey fell silent. Things had been tense between her and Ben at that time. By all appearances, nothing had changed; they still hung out and texted each other heaps, but it felt different. There was something hidden behind his smiles, which did nothing to ease the pain in her heart. Her date with Poe was terrible and she hated herself for even going on it, and when she returned to her apartment that night to find Ben sitting on her couch, waiting for her, her heart had leapt. But then Ben had asked how her date went with an enthusiasm that was reserved for friends only. It sounded like he genuinely wanted to know, like there were no feelings of romance on his end. Like they were friends and only friends.

“He seemed okay with it,” Rey said, doing her best to ignore the drop of her stomach as she said those words.

“He wasn’t okay,” Finn said softly.

Their ramen was cold by now, the three bowls of noodles abandoned as the conversation had turned to Ben and Rey’s lack of love life. Various students walked past them on the way to their classes; some of them seemed on the verge of greeting the three postgrads but all of them stopped when they saw how sombre the mood was. The trio were normally full of smiles and enthusiasm, so to see Rey with her head bowed down and the other two playing with their food, all with similar frowns or serious expressions, people steered clear and left them be.d.

“He never told me,” Rey said after what felt like an eternity. Suddenly, something dawned on her. “Hang on, he never told me! That _son of a bitch_.”

“Wha--Rey!” Finn and Rose snapped up from their bowls to see Rey quickly gathering her belongings.

“I’ll pay you guys back for the meal!” she said before disappearing in the direction of the lecture halls.

Once alone, Finn turned to Rose. “Think this will work out fine?”

“It better. Rey didn’t even finish her meal and you know how she is with food.”

-

Rey paced back and forth outside Ben’s lecture hall with her hands becoming a tangled mess. His lecture was about to finish and there were students milling around outside the hall, waiting for the next lecture to commence. She would have to make it quick because the last thing any of them needed was their personal lives being gossiped about by the student body.

Now that she thought about it, it was really a bad idea to come here right now. God, she was so reckless;  rushing to Ben to confront him about something that happened years ago was ridiculous. Just as she turned around to leave, a stream of students came pouring out of Ben’s lecture hall.

Rey jumped out of the way and let the students pass, recognizing the looks on their faces all too well. Students in her own lectures had similar looks of boredom and desperation to escape.

“Rey? What are you doing here?”

Rey swung around and saw Ben, glaring at anyone who dared to linger. “I-er-wanted to make sure you got my message,” she lied.

Ben stared at her, knowing full well how big that lie was. “Come on, I need to fill my water bottle before my next lecture starts.”

“Cool, I’ve got time before my class as well,” she said, remembering the time.

The drinking fountain was down the hall and with the lecture starting soon, the hallway was blessedly empty. Ben held his glass bottle under the tap, the same bottle Rey had bought him years ago, and looked at her patiently.

“So, you remember Poe Dameron, yeah?” Rey started, figuring there was no time like the present. “The one I went on a date with years ago?” She watched him carefully for any and all reactions.

“Yeah, what about him?”

Rey’s eyes narrowed; his voice sounded strained.

“What did you think of him?”

Ben’s finger slipped off the tap button, causing a loud twang from the metal pipes. He cleared his throat and continued filling his water bottle. “You came all the way across campus when you have a class to teach in a few minutes, to ask my opinion about some asshole guy you dated five years ago?” he asked, peering at her every few moments.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“You know how I feel about him. Why the sudden interest?” There was a slight annoyance to his voice. Was it the topic she brought up, or the fact that it was taking so long to fill his bottle?

“Well…” Shit, she didn’t think this far. Rey floundered for a proper explanation, and grasped at the first idea that popped into her head. “I was thinking trying out the dating scene again!”

Ben finished filling his bottle and capped it, rubbing it against his shirt to soak up any droplets that ran down the side. “Really,” he said slowly, not quite sure what he was hearing.

“Yeah! It’s been so many years, I figured it was time to you know, dip my toe in the pool again,” she said, using her fingers as air quotation marks. The smile she had on her face was stretched from cheek to cheek, so wide as if it would distract her from the gigantic lie was she telling, or the fact that Ben looked, more or less, unaffected by the news.

“Hmmm.”

“...and I wanted your opinion on that! After all you're my most trusted friend; my childhood friend. I value your opinion on this. I-in fact, maybe you could help me!” Oh god; what the fuck was she saying?  Rey wanted to sew her mouth shut forever.

“How exactly were you going to go about...meeting someone? Or find the time to properly get to know them?”

They started walking back to the lecture halls. “Tinder, maybe? But we can figure that out later! When I see you later tonight!” Rey flashed him one last tight smile and turned to leave. “I better head to my tutorial now!” She let out a nervous laugh to break the tension, but Ben kept staring at her. Still, his face betrayed nothing to indicate that he was bothered by the idea of Rey dating someone else.

And as Rey rushed across campus, late, to her tutorial, she tried not to let all of the afternoon’s revelations get to her, but it was pointless. She had a fleeting crush on him when she was younger, but never gave it much stock and let it go. Well, she _thought_ she’d let it go, but those repressed feelings had come surging back as soon as Rose and Finn had told her Ben’s ‘secret’. The way they had made it sound, Ben should’ve been livid to hear the news that she was considering dating other people, but he’d been so... _flat_ when she’d told him.  She wanted to believe Finn and Rose, she really did, and as she ran, she tried to shake the fear that her best friend, her Ben, might not feel for her the way she felt for him.

-

 _Of course_ Ben remembered Poe Dameron. He remembered him well.

Dameron was someone that anybody with functional eyesight would consider ‘handsome’. Ben rolled his eyes just thinking about it. Too often he overheard crowds of girls, and sometimes a pair of boys even, talking about how hot and ‘hunky’ Dameron was, and when Rey had told him that her blind date was Dameron, he couldn’t help but want to wring the boy’s neck for even coming close to Rey.

Because that was who Dameron was: just a boy. And Ben knew exactly what boys like him were like.

But Rey hadn’t told him she was going on a blind date. If he’d known it was happening, he would have sussed out who it was, if only to ease his own mind in regards to her safety, but alas, everything had happened so fast that he didn’t find out until Finn had mentioned it in passing. By then, Rey was already on her date. He tried not to let it bother him that she didn’t tell him about it;  she was an adult, after all, and it wasn’t like he had any right to control what she did.  But it had still stung.

“Oh hey, I didn’t expect you to come tonight,” Finn had said when they ran into each other outside the students housing complex.

“Why would you think that? It’s--” Ben checked his watch. “--only 10pm.”

“No, as in, didn’t Rey tell you? She’s out on a date tonight so she might not be home yet.”

Upon hearing Finn’s words, it felt like the air in his lungs were sucked out, like the ground beneath him disappeared, and with it, Rey. “What?” he rasped. Despite his legs feeling weak all of the sudden, Ben remained standing perfectly still.

“Yeah, there’s a charity blind date event hosted by our department. Rey only joined because Rose joined, who only joined because--”

“Hang on, _Rose_? I thought you two were going out.”

That caused Finn to stop. “No. What made you think that?”

Ben looked at him like he’d spawned another head but reeled himself in. “Nothing. No reason.” There was definitely a reason. He had it on good authority that Rose had been harboring a crush on Finn for the past year, if the amount of times Rey went on about it was any indication. If he and Rose were close, he would pull her aside and tell her how stupid she was being, but no way in hell were they on that level of friendship yet.

Finn still didn’t look convinced, mulling over Ben’s words in his head. Other students brushed past them and before long, they were alone, loitering awkwardly outside the building. “What about you? I for sure thought you would be losing your shit at the idea of Rey going out with someone.”

It was Ben’s turn to look flabbergasted. “What, why?”

“Well, because you’re in love with her?” Finn said slowly, only for his eyes widen and mouth to drop open at Ben’s blank face. “You can’t be serious.” The longer Ben stared at him, the more worried Finn grew. “Oh no, you are. You don’t know? How can you not know? You guys are attached at the hip! Wait, Ben, where are you going? Ben!”

He didn’t have any memory of going up to Rey’s apartment after their little talk, only that he needed to see her. He has no idea how much time he spent sitting on her couch, all alone with some trashy reality TV playing. Being in her home calmed him considerably, it always did, her scent filling his senses and easing his heart.

Whether it was ten minutes or ten hours, Ben had worked himself into a panic, then out of a panic, then back into a panic before accepting the fact that Rey was a grown woman and had every right to date whoever she pleased. There was nothing he could say or do about it and he knew he should be happy if she was happy.

He didn’t realise how head-over-heels he was until until he’d gone through an absurd number of possible scenarios, none of which had Rey ending up with him. It was self-inflicted torture and he had no one else to blame but himself. By the time Rey came home (a bit startled to find Ben moping on her couch wrapped in her blankets that he had dragged from her bed), he’d already been through at least a dozen imagined scenarios of Rey, wearing a beautiful white dress and a glowing smile, marrying someone other than him.  

Thinking about it, he was surprised Rey didn’t find that weird, but by all means, she didn’t know that _he_ knew she was on a date that night.

Instead, Rey dropped onto the couch next to him and pulled at her blankets, slithering into the warm cocoon as the next episode of The Bachelorette began. Neither said a word, both content with watching the tacky challenges of ten men vying for the bachelorette's affections.

“How was your day?” Rey asked quietly as a man on the telly skulled three beer steins.

“Fine,” Ben replied, voice matching hers. “Hux was a lil’ shit, like always.”

Rey hummed in response and the pair of them fell into silence again. A part of Ben wanted to ask how her date went, but the other part of him was worried that it had gone well, and that she had come back home in a low mood because she would eventually have to tell Ben that they couldn’t hang out anymore.

In retrospect, that line of thought was absolutely ridiculous, but it sounded perfectly logical in his brain at the time.

Finally, the suspense became too much to handle. “Finn told me about your date. Was the guy decent or do I have to personally torment them?” He even put a small smile on his face, in hopes to add humor to the situation, even though he was one hundred percent serious. Hell, he would kill for Rey; he knew that now.

Rey let out a laugh and smiled at him, a smile she reserved for Ben only. “It was terrible. I got paired with Poe Dameron from Commerce and he’s just so… _urgh_. He’s nice but I don’t know, not my type. Arrogant, maybe? Really up himself.”

Ben tried to sound nonchalant as he replied, even as he was internally screaming with joy at this news. “Well, you have to be if you’re studying _commerce_. He looks like someone who would become the head of Marketing for some pharmaceutical company.”

“You’re right about that,” she snorted.

Rey pulled her legs up against her chest and wrapped her arms around them before tilting her body so she rested against Ben’s. It was so tempting to wrap his arms around her, like he had done so many times before; but things were different now. Now, she was open to the idea of dating someone and whoever she dated probably wouldn’t be pleased with how close they were.

Too often he had heard from people that men and women couldn’t be _just friends_ , which he now understood. He didn’t want to be just a friend anymore, but it seemed that Rey didn’t feel the same about him.

So he pulled away and forced his arms to stay by his side. Rey noticed his odd behavior and had looked at him weird, and just like that, he gave in and allowed himself the bare minimum; he rested his head upon hers.

-

He couldn’t cut himself out of her life suddenly. No, that would be too cruel and abrupt for both of them. He would still stay over at her place if he finished work late, and he would still message her everyday, reminding her to eat whenever her workload got too intense, but in the back of his mind, he knew he would have to let someone else do that for her one day.

It was Rey’s life to do what she pleased.

And now the time had come when Ben would have to untangle himself from her life. It would make the transition easier for Rey when she did find someone eligible on Tinder, as unbearable as it was to think about. He wasn’t not sure if he would ever truly recover, but Rey’s happiness meant more to him than his own.

-

“Fiiiiin, Roooooose, you were wrong about Ben,” Rey whined, voice muffled by her carpet.

Finn and Rose looked down at the husk of their friend who was laid flat on her stomach, face first, in her lounge room. The pair looked at each other warily and closed the door behind them before joining her on the floor.

“Why do you think that?” Rose and Finn asked simultaneously.

“He’s _helping_ me find someone on Tinder!!”

Laying a few inches away from Rey was her phone, opened to the plain white screen of the app. Rose scooped up her phone and scrolled through the different people Rey had been matched with, eyebrows rising. “Is this all you?”

Rey sharply lifted her head up and pulled a face. “Urgh, _no_.”

“More importantly, why are you on _Tinder_ of all places?”

“Because I told him I wanted to find someone on Tinder to date,” Rey moaned before thumping her head on the floor. “I panicked and there were students around and I just blurted out that I wanted to date someone! From Tinder! I don’t know what I was thinking!”

Finn slapped his forehead with a groan as Rose continues to flick through her messages.

“If this isn’t you, then who is it?” Rose asked, wiggling Rey’s phone in her hand.

Rey pulled herself up and sat back on her knees, looking miserable. “I only go on Tinder if Ben is with me. Actually if anything, he insisted on that! He said it was to make sure that whoever I matched with wasn’t some dickhead, and then he immediately blocked and deleted anyone who sent me a dick pic, so _I couldn’t even see them_!”

Even though Rey looked mildly insulted about having her Tinder messages vetted, Rose let out a bark of laughter. “Oh man, maybe the only dick he wants you to see is his, and I wish like hell that something happens soon ‘cos this is starting to be painful to watch,” she said.

“So, _so_ painful.” Rey ran her fingers down her face in anguish.

“Here’s an idea, why don’t you tell him yourself?” Finn suggested. “This ain’t the Victorian era, Rey. Sometimes you gotta--” Finn made the motion of pulling someone in for a kiss and lewdly tongued the air.  

“Is that how you and Rose started dating?” Rey deadpanned.

“No, it never came to that because neither of us were as stubborn as you and Ben,” Rose said, unimpressed.

Later that night, Rey sat at her dining-slash-work table, staring at her phone, trying to will herself to give Ben a call, when her phone unexpectedly lit up with a notification. Immediately swiping right, she saw it was a confirmation email for her participation in the kissing booth at the mini fete. Because it was hosted by the Children’s Home, the kissing booth wasn’t a traditional one, but rather one more appropriate for a family-friendly event. Unlike all the Ivy League carnivals and fundraising events where mouth and tongue kissing was allowed, this one only had cheek kisses. Sure it wouldn’t draw in a large crowd, but Rey was counting on the fact that it was for the benefit of the foster kids for people to buy tickets.

The children’s organization could make easy money by having a more traditional booth, but they didn’t, which only strengthened Rey’s decision to participate. She even roped Finn and Rose and even a few other people from different departments to join in. Hell, even _Poe-fucking-Dameron_ signed up, which guaranteed enough money for _any_ repairs needed at the Home.

Rey wondered if she should ask Ben if he wanted to volunteer, but then she remembered that they were trying to _raise_ money, not tank their fundraiser. Besides, it was unlikely he would agree to it, even if it only involved cheek kisses.

Her clock was reading in the single digits when the idea occurred to her. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep  combined with her full teaching and research schedule, but when the absurd notion entered her head, Rey didn’t even bat an eyelash at it. Some would say it was crazy. Others would say it was _ingenious_. Regardless, Rey was too tired and emotionally frustrated to realise she should probably sleep on it before sending a text to Ben at four in the morning, asking him for a very particular favor.

-

It was the middle of the week and the sun was setting in the distance. Rey was a nervous ball of energy as she paced back and forth in her apartment doing a circuit around her lounge to her small kitchen and back again, hoping that the constant moving around would distract her from the fact that her plan was going to fail spectacularly. From what she could see, there were only two ways the next hour or so could go.

Either Ben would comply, with some judgement; or he would refuse outright, still judgmentally.

It was too late to back out though. Ben was coming over soon, under the pretense that Rey needed help on something to do with her thesis.

Tricking your best friend, your childhood friend, who you now know to be the love of your life into kissing you had nothing to do with her thesis. Maybe  if her thesis was on morals and ethics, but alas, no.

She was in the middle of doing her twentieth circuit around her home when the familiar jangling of keys was heard from her front door.

“Rey, for the love of Christ, please, please, please lock your front door,” Ben sighed as he entered, kicking the door closed behind him.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” Rey said, waving the topic aside with her hand.

Ben looked tired. He had dark circles under his eyes, which wasn’t abnormal, but he looked more worn down than usual. Things with Snoke and Hux might possibly be particularly stressful at the moment, and that possibility alone should be enough reason for Rey to abort her plan, but fuck it; this needed to happen before she chickened out.

“Ben,” Rey started, pulling him towards the kitchen where sunlight streamed in. If she was going to cheapen her first kiss, might as well try to add some romantic atmosphere to it. “I don’t need help with my thesis.”

“Oh? Why did you--”

“The local foster care organisation is throwing a mini carnival to hopefully get enough funds for some repairs. I’m going to volunteer at it.”

Nodding slowly, Ben waited for Rey to continue. She took a deep breath.

“I’m going to volunteer at the kissing booth and was wondering if you could teach me? How to kiss?”

By all appearances, Ben looked normal, but Rey knew better. His eyes widened a fraction and his lips parted for an almost-silent gasp to escape.

“ _What?_ ”

“A kissing booth! I don’t know how to kiss and I’ve never done it before and it won’t _mean_ anything.” Rey laughed loudly in hopes it would soften the blow. “And I know you have better things to do but--”

“I’ll do it.” Ben took a sharp intake of air and Rey did not miss how shaky it was. “I’ll do it,” he repeated, more confident this time.

“Great!” Rey smiled awkwardly and looked around her apartment, face heating up knowing that she was about to kiss Ben Solo. From the corner of her eye, she noticed that his eyes remained on her, as if trying to figure her out.

“So...how should we do this?” Ben asked, his voice so soft that Rey’s legs almost melted at his tone, which was one she had never heard before.

Rey placed her hands on his shoulders and looked up at him. “I-I don’t know. Do we just--” Rey felt so stupid when she puckered her lips, but she still wasn’t sure if he was genuinely trying to help her or if there were hidden feelings at work here. “Is...is this how you do it?”

Putting her hands on his shoulders was a mistake, she realised that now. The heat coming off his body as she felt his muscles flexing was overwhelming and she feared making a fool of herself, but she couldn’t bring herself to move away. She was trembling and breathing so shallowly that she thought she might faint if something didn’t happen soon.

Ben licked his lips and paused, which was just cruel. When it didn’t look like he was going to move any further, Rey whispered, “Why are we taking so long to do this? We’re grown-ass adults, Ben. It shouldn’t be that hard.” She licked her lips before gnawing on the bottom one.

“Yeah, but you’ve never done this before. And neither have I.”

Holy shit, he was going for it.  

He slowly lowered his face and on instinct, Rey’s eyes slipped shut. Her hands fell from his shoulders to his warm waist and rested against his soft cardigan.

He pressed his lips softly against hers, gentle pecks to give Rey more than enough opportunity to pull away. No way in hell. His lips were plump and luscious and their kiss made Rey’s toes curl as she reached upwards to deepen the kiss. She pressed herself against his firm body, gripping onto his cardigan as she pushed forward.

At one point, Ben’s hands came to cup her face, his thumb lovingly rubbing her cheeks as he swiped his tongue across her bottom lip. She opened her mouth eagerly and met his tongue halfway. The sensation was foreign and it sent shivers down her spine, but one thing was for sure...

He tasted heavenly.

Rey felt like she was floating, as if she had left her body and was on cloud nine. She wanted more; she never wanted this moment to end, but Ben abruptly broke from their kiss.

“You like me,” he accused, voice breathy and uneven.

“Shh, let’s stay like this a little longer,” Rey mumbled, eyes still closed as she continued to savor her out of body experience. She closed the gap between them again and pushed her tongue between his lips without hesitation.

-

The logical part of Ben wanted to know what the fuck was going on, but it was so easy to surrender himself to Rey and her kisses. She felt and tasted divine, better than anything he ever imagined. To have her in his arms after all this time...his heart swelled knowing that Rey had decided to give her first kiss to _him_.

He now knew without a doubt that Rey didn’t just like him as a friend anymore. That much was confirmed when she pressed herself against him, pulling at his clothes and breathing him in like he was her oxygen.

And she was his.

He latched onto her lips with a hunger he’d never known, wrapped his arms around her, and seamlessly  lifted her from the floor. He wanted _everything in that moment,_ but at the same time he wanted to take his time in order to be able to savor every inch of Rey. _His_ Rey. It was overwhelming; his skin was on fire and he was positive his erection was pressing into the apex of her thighs, but he couldn’t help himself.

He shuffled backwards with Rey in his arms until his back hit the wall next to her bedroom, which snapped him from his love and lust-induced haze. It would be so easy to pull her inside; and in the presence of a bed, there was no doubt they both knew what would happen.

As much as his body screamed at him for it, Ben pulled himself from her with a sigh.

“You like me,” he repeated again, his voice even softer, and this time with a smile. He tried to fight the urge to grin like the fool he was, but he was so relieved everything had turned out like this that he could not repress it. “Wait, is there even a kissing booth?” he asked, suddenly remembering what brought this on.

“Yeah, but it’s cheek kisses only. Wholesome family fun.”

Ben nodded repeatedly, already formulating a plan to buy all the tickets for her sessions at the booth so no one but him could kiss her; he’d waited so long and he was not about to share her now. “When did you…?” His question hung between them, unfinished.

“I don’t know,” Rey whispered. He could see her desire to resume their kissing session, but she opted to rest her cheek on his chest instead. “I think a part of me knew it all along. The two years I was on the other side of the country with Luke was torture, but the moment I came back-- _no_ , the moment I saw you again?” Rey lifted her head from his chest and looked into his eyes, hand resting on his cheek. “With you, my heart, my soul, they felt at home again; like I was finally where I truly belong. I didn’t feel alone anymore.”

“You’re not alone. You were never alone.”

“Neither were you.”

Ben looked at her sharply, his brow furrowed at her words until he realised the meaning behind them. “I…” Suddenly, tears he didn’t realise had formed began to fall before he could stop himself. Some part of him knew he wasn’t alone, that he was surrounded by love even when his family fell apart, but he never _really_ acknowledged it until now.

He’d never been  overly open with his parents and any desire he had to attempt it went to dust when they split. But before that, before the fighting and arguing and neither of them being willing to forgive each other their faults, he had believed them when they said he was loved with all their hearts. If Rey hadn’t come into his life a year before the divorce, he didn’t know what would have happened. The love he felt for, and received from his parents had all but evaporated (or so it had felt at the time), but it was replaced by the love he shared with Rey and with it, he grew. He grew with her, and she with him; two children alone and confused with lost and broken families around them.

As his tears continued to fall, he startled a bit when Rey brushed aside some hair that got caught in the wet streaks they left on his cheeks. There was a sheen to her eyes but she looked hopeful.

They had been tip-toeing around each other for years and at some point, Ben knew it contributed to how stagnant his life had become, but now, in this moment, he knew it was worth it.  They could move forward now, together; their journey was just beginning.

-

It was hard to resist exploring every inch of Ben Solo’s body with her hands and lips now that their feelings for each other were out in the open, but their talk had significantly diminished the fire in Rey’s body, though she still felt wonderfully warm. It also helped that Rey knew she had to run to a night meeting with her advisors about the details of her thesis, a fact which put a lot of things into perspective.

She returned from the meeting to find Ben sitting at the dining table with a bowl of ice cream. She joined him at the table and took his free hand in hers, threading her fingers through his. Ben perked up at her gesture and nudged the bowl of ice cream towards her, earning a small grin.

“So, I have a few weeks left until I’m able to submit my thesis,” Rey said, taking the spoon from Ben’s large hand and scooping some ice cream for herself. “I think it would be best if we held off doing anything until my thesis is done and submitted.”

“Of course, absolutely.” Ben immediately understood what she meant. He was a tenured professor and she was a PhD student. Even though they weren’t on the same faculty, they would still earn judgemental looks from different staff members, and the last thing Ben wanted was any malicious rumors regarding Rey’s academic integrity. He didn’t even want to think about how Snoke and Hux would react.

“If anything, I’d like to wait until I get my marks back. At the very least. Ideally, graduation, but…”

“...but graduation is sometimes half a year after you get your marks back,” Ben finished. He took her hand, massaged her knuckles with his thumb, and brought it up to his lips. “We’ve danced around each other for how many years now? Ten? A few more months will be a breeze. Besides, nothing will have to change between us.”

“Exactly. We’ll still see each other every day, bitch about different faculty members, and I’ll still steal your food.” To prove her point, Rey slid the bowl closer to her and popped a large spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

“Careful or I might try and take it back.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Rey opened her mouth, showing now melted ice cream rolling over her tongue.

It was meant to disgust Ben, but it had the opposite effect.

Uncaring for the bowl knocked onto the floor, Ben clambered over the table. All six feet and two inches of Ben Solo stood up from the the small table and took Rey’s face in his impossibly big hands. Rey stood up to meet his height and moaned when their lips met, his tongue sliding in and taking the ice cream right from her mouth.

Rey propped her knee against the table and tried to draw herself taller, their kiss becoming more intense by the second, but stopped when the table shook on its legs. They quickly climbed off and composed themselves, patting their ruffled hair and straightening their clothes.

“These few months are going to kill me, knowing you are within arms reach,” Rey said with a frown.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be hard...but if not kissing you for a few months means you get awarded a high honors PhD, then so be it.” Ben rounded the table and leaned against it, pulling Rey to stand between his legs. “Crush it. Kill it so no one will have any doubt that you are anything short of amazing.”

Rey’s eyes crinkled as she met Ben with another kiss, this one shorter and much more chaste. With one final peck, Rey stepped away from him, eyes straying south. She coughed and averted her eyes. Ben’s very obvious erection pressed through his jeans and it was impossible to ignore its size and dimensions.

The next few months were truly going to be hell.

-

Ben left Rey’s apartment not long afterwards, thinking it would be best to put some space between them so she could cool down and get back to work on her thesis. He saw how she looked at him, all of him,  with those heated eyes and it had added an extra spring to his step. Judging from her flushed cheeks, Rey was very pleased with what she saw in him. The following months were going to be tough but the image of Rey, her lips red and glistening and eager to receive him, was going to carry him through.

He was in the process of unlocking the front door to his apartment when his phone buzzed twice in his pocket. There were two messages, an image message followed by another with a single winky emoji, both from Rey. Curious, he swiped the messages and almost choked.

It was Rey, but her eyes were cropped from the picture. Her shirt was pulled up and shoved in her mouth, saliva slightly soaking through the fabric, revealing a pair of perky tits. Perfect tits, with perfect nipples.

Ben swallowed the lump that formed in his throat as another message came through.

**[Something to keep you company until my PhD is done!]**

With his dick hard and imprisoned in his pants, Ben thumped his forehead on his door, knowing full well he was still in the hallway of his complex. His neighbors would probably not appreciate it if he took care of it right then and there.  

Rey was going to be the death of him at this rate.

-

The elevator pinged and Finn stepped from it with a bag of takeaway food for himself and Rose. He was passing Rey’s apartment when he remembered that the first batch of results, including Rey’s, had finally come out. It was past lunch time and he realised he hadn’t heard from her yet.

Hoping she did okay, Finn knocked on her door and let himself inside like he had done so many times before.

“Hey Rey, how did it go wi--OH MY GOD!” Finn dropped the bag of food and covered his eyes. “What! Is! Happening!?”

“Get the FUCK OUT!” two voices simultaneously screamed.

“I’m sorry!!” Finn cried out, hurriedly gathering his fallen food before slamming the door behind him.

Ben growled and snapped his hips, dragging a long moan from Rey.

“Do- _snap_ -you- _snap_ -still- _snap_ -think- _snap_ -it’s- _snap_ -okay- _snap_ -to- _snap_ -leave- _snap_ \--your- _snap_ -door- _snap_ -unlocked?”

Rey buried her face into her sofa’s scratchy fabric, barely able to form a sentence in reply. Ben’s thick cock was sliding in and out of her, caressing her walls so deliciously that it set every nerve ending in her body alight. Her front was bent over the arm of her couch, Ben’s strong hand holding her down as he pounded into her from behind. She held onto the arm of the couch with all her might, but she slipped down anyway, curving her spine so her backside was prettily presented to Ben, who drove deeper into her, the new angle causing mewling sounds to fall from her lips.

“Sh-Sure, I’ll lock t-tha-the doorrrrr,” Rey panted, nails digging into the sofa. “Ju-Just go fast _er_. Oh _god_.”

As Ben slammed his hips into her, he bent over and matched the curvature of her spine, peppering kisses across her back and up the nape of her neck. They had been going at it since early in the morning, when Rey got her thesis results back, and needless to say, waiting all those months before losing their virginities to each other made the experience all the more sweet.

“Congratulations on getting your doctorate, Dr. Rey,” Ben whispered, his fingers lazily strumming her clit and he continued to thrust in and out.

“Mmm, thank you, Dr. Ben,” Rey replied, pushing her ass back so she could hike her leg up against the back of the couch. Their combined sweat and fluids were going to ruin her couch but she was past the point of caring. “The rewards I’ve been getting have been worth all the effort.”

“Good, because I’m nowhere near finished congratulating you yet.”

 


End file.
